Random Rants

If I am being honest, there is absolutely nothing I want to do with my life, except do what I hear him say. 

Not because it is nice and easy, but I really love him (I mean I really do); and low key my physical body is also now wired to be uncomfortable when I do not obey. 

Lmao I will have chest pain and heartburn and stomachache all together, on top of disobedience. 

I’d pass.

So, Naomi hears, obeys, and then cries, and still moves. 

I be screaming we move, and keep obeying, but I am whining and crying for an explanation. 

There are times I’m ready to go fist for fist with God, because my brain says it doesn’t make sense.

But I still move.


Some might ask, because many times a lot of people often imagine we do things because we want to and feel like. 

I wish I felt like going to apply for school with tuition fees I cannot afford. 

My brain literally be screaming, ‘are you mad’ in the most British accent it can find.

But I do things because I choose God. 

I want God in everything I do. 

I want his voice saying yes and enveloping mine, so I can be his oracle.

I want everyone to see that it is just ordinary Naomi without sense with a big God.

If he doesn’t choose the school, I am not going for a degree.

If he doesn’t say yes to the job application, and write it with me, then we are jobless. 

If he doesn’t send me, I am not going. I am sleeping in my house for real.

If he doesn’t scream Naomi, that is your husband, we die here. Single never killed anyone.

I know. 

It’s wild. Right.

That’s extreme. 

‘You are supposed to draw up the plans and give him to bless.’

‘Set the goals and he would direct you to accomplish it’

You might question, ‘does heaven not help those who help themselves?’

Me, I don’t know ooh.

Actually, I know. 

God does not want to help you help yourself into foolishness. 

And I’m 100% sure that I know that I don’t want to help myself and do ‘oversabi’

It always ends in tears, and disaster, so I would pass. 

‘Give me a blueprint, and I will build it with you.’

That is my constant cry.

‘What are you saying?’

 ‘What are you doing?’

And he replies. 

Omo, he does with every method available under this sun.

Either through dreams, other people, the word, his audible voice ringing inside Naomi’s ears, just knowing what to do, or feeling a burden or anyhow available.

But choosing him has saved me repeatedly.

Because my core is ahava. 

My core is love, intimacy and communion. 

I exchange my ideas for his own. 

And let them consume me.

And without that, I cannot move. 

I’ve come to accept that. 

So, I would always remember that I obey because I choose to choose him. 

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