If I am being honest, there is absolutely nothing I want to do with my life, except do what I hear him say. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not because it is nice and easy, but I really love him (I mean I really do); and low key my physical body is also now wired to be uncomfortable when I do not obey. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lmao I will have chest pain and heartburn and stomachache all together, on top of disobedience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019d pass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, Naomi hears, obeys, and then cries, and still moves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I be screaming we move, and keep obeying, but I am whining and crying for an explanation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are times I\u2019m ready to go fist for fist with God, because my brain says it doesn\u2019t make sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I still move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some might ask, because many times a lot of people often imagine we do things because we want to and feel like. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wish I felt like going to apply for school with tuition fees I cannot afford. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My brain literally be screaming, \u2018are you mad\u2019 in the most British accent it can find.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I do things because I choose God. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want God in everything I do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want his voice saying yes and enveloping mine, so I can be his oracle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want everyone to see that it is just ordinary Naomi without sense with a big God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If he doesn\u2019t choose the school, I am not going for a degree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If he doesn\u2019t say yes to the job application, and write it with me, then we are jobless. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If he doesn\u2019t send me, I am not going. I am sleeping in my house for real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If he doesn\u2019t scream Naomi, that is your husband, we die here. Single never killed anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s wild. Right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s extreme. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018You are supposed to draw up the plans and give him to bless.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Set the goals and he would direct you to accomplish it\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You might question, \u2018does heaven not help those who help themselves?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me, I don\u2019t know ooh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Actually, I know. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
God does not want to help you help yourself into foolishness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I’m 100% sure that I know that I don\u2019t want to help myself and do \u2018oversabi\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It always ends in tears, and disaster, so I would pass. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Give me a blueprint, and I will build it with you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is my constant cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What are you saying?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What are you doing?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And he replies. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Omo, he does with every method available under this sun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Either through dreams, other people, the word, his audible voice ringing inside Naomi\u2019s ears, just knowing what to do, or feeling a burden or anyhow available.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But choosing him has saved me repeatedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because my core is ahava. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My core is love, intimacy and communion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I exchange my ideas for his own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And let them consume me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And without that, I cannot move. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve come to accept that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, I would always remember that I obey because I choose to choose him. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"